After my doc appointment I began to contemplate the meaning of the questions I was asked and the reality of how I answered them. Eh...what's the big deal. I was still on maternity leave and wasn't too worried that my baby blues would disapate over time. And then...only 6 weeks left until I returned to work. What! How the heck did six weeks go by already and only 6 more weeks is no where near enough. The panic flashed.
My mom started coming over a few days a week to watch the baby so hubby could do some chores and I could go to sleep. It was nice having a laid off spouse to add extra help during this transition. And even nicer to have my mom come over and encourage me to rest. I tried napping. Sometimes I managed 2 hours, but usually only a half hour between the time I fell asleep and when the baby was ready for her next meal with the boobs. This cycle of 2 hours sleeps around the clock were taking their toll. The mood swings bungied from out of nowhere.
My reality no longer felt like reality. The fog of the first week home never left, but I was too busy and too tired to notice. I had to start putting on clothes when I woke up. Talk about every ounce of energy being zapped out by a menial task like showering and putting on sweat pants. The day time naps were helpful, and even made me feel like I could start to function again.
But getting dressed ad showering brought me a new horror...my reflection.
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