Officially Official

Strange days have a way of creeping upon you unexpectedly. 

I don’t need to rehash my version of life during the nine (and a half) years spotlighted today.  I don’t have to painfully pick apart the seemingly endless end from its beginning.  I don’t need to wonder what if or why.  It just is and was. 

I remember the moments leading up to finding my strength…my enough…my bottom…my ah-ha…my breaking the glass.  I remember the exact moment in the salty mist of the boardwalk before dusk when it all became clear: when my truth and reality became one.  And I didn’t look back.

I have no regret.

I do have sorrow.  I do have peace.  I do have happiness.  I do have my self.

I remember sitting outside on my steps as the day for moving drew closer.  I would sit on the still cold cement in dawning spring, smiling and crying and feel the weight of those years heavy, yet falling away.  I heard the bird song louder, saw the stars sparkle brighter, felt the wind blowing me forward, tears marking my cheeks and lips upturned.

Today when the paper finally arrived, officially official, all I could do to fight the wave of emotion was to ride it.  Understand it.  Feel it.  Breathe it.  Be it.  Cry it.  Be free with it.