“You’ve been alone since I met you.”
Truly powerful words.
No matter what quotes or empowering concepts cross my eyes…I
struggle embracing them. Not because I
cannot believe, but because I do. Creating
a mind of peace and well-being amidst the big bang of my life leaves little
room for reflection. Analogies…yes those
are what I am good at utilizing.
Standing in the center of a tornado, watching all the pieces
of my life swirl in chaotic destruction, wondering how they will all land, and
preparing to pick up the pieces. Some
will not survive.
Flowing along the river, picking up momentum, hearing the
rapids and falls ahead… I will not steer away, I must go over the edge. I know there are gentle waters below just
beyond the fury of the landing. Actually
I am falling at this moment. The bottom
is farther than I expected.
I see the ruins of my fortress beyond on the green
waterside. I have already begun
reconstruction and reinforcement. I can
see myself standing in the turret, protected.
My walls feel heavier than before, crushing almost. I have to let more air inside. I’m shaking.
Alone I stand, surveying the wreckage, the wounds that will
leave scars. The stains inside the walls
will require my attention, but not now, not before fortification. Perhaps I need their reminder. Maybe I need dragons.
Enough with the dramatic monologue. Right.
Alone.
Alone is strength. No matter how
many warriors choose to fight along-side of me…I alone hold my sword, live
with my memory, face my demons, feel my pain.
No one can do more than carry me from the battlefield and dress my
wounds with care and love. My hope, my
healing, my resolve comes from within: me alone.
